Becoming a parent is a pivotal moment in everyone’s life. And it’s ok to feel as though you have lost your old identity because in so many ways, you genuinely have.
For many, you end up attending baby groups where you are known as your child’s mother rather than the person your friends got to know all those years ago. Rather than being asked primarily about what kind of music you are into or what job you do, questions revolve around your baby, their sleep, their nappies and their milestones. It can be tiring and somewhat depressing when you feel as though you have foregone your previous self, despite being utterly in love with your offspring.
If these feelings resonate, continue reading as here are some ways in which you can re-establish yourself after becoming a parent.
Take time for you
While it might seem easier said than done, taking time for yourself is of utmost importance when you become a parent. To start with, you will find it almost impossible, of course, but simply taking ten to twenty minutes out and giving the baby to someone else for a little while will allow you to read a chapter of a book, have a soak in the bath or chat on the phone to one of your friends. When you feel ready, organise to see friends once a week – even if that is at an exercise class, then it kills two birds with one stone.
Spend money on yourself
As parents, we are guilty of spending money in an almost carefree manner when it involves our children. However, when it comes to needing a new pair of socks as the old ones are worn through or a new bra as the white one has turned grey in the wash, we seem to develop an immediate sense of dread for daring to splash the cash on ourselves.
The more we put it off, the bigger this thing becomes, so ensure you do spend some money on yourself every now and then. You are deserving as well as your children. If you have been wanting something for a while, why not treat yourself! Whether you want a hammock or a Pandora bracelet, if you can afford it treat yourself!
Do you spend enough time and money on making yourself feel good about your skin and your body? I know some people love to consider things like chemical peels.
Develop your skills
If you become a stay-at-home parent, many people often feel as though they de-skill. This is completely false as being a good mother or father involves so many different transferable skills that could be applied in the workplace. Have you ever been successful in negotiating with a three-year-old who only wants cake for breakfast? Excellent. Then you are fully prepared for a customer-facing role. However, you may wish to consider the time when you do return to work and the industry you would like to either return to or enter. Taking time to study when the children are in bed or having an afternoon nap could allow you to ensure you are as up to speed as possible when you do head back to paid employment.
Date nights
Finally, while it is difficult to find time to woo each other, it is still of vital importance that romance continues within your relationship. Becoming parents means that you often sacrifice one another as well as yourselves. Hire a babysitter or enlist the help of family members and friends, then get yourselves out of the door and enjoy a night together. Ultimately, you will end up chatting incessantly about your kids, but at least you’ll have tried!