Even the thought of your child being groomed online is scary, but the reality is worse …… so much worse. It is so easy for our kids to get online and meet people without us noticing. And it isn’t the smaller kids that are being groomed as much as the older kids, the teenagers. But how do you spot online grooming with your child?
When our kids hit their teenage years, they become completely different people. Their hormones are raging and they hate us every step of the way. So when they find someone online who is empathetic to them and how they feel. They feel happy and not so alone. They are at their most vulnerable and this is when the predator strikes. Boom! they have their claws in your kid and you need to act fast.
Signs Of A Teenager Being Groomed
Your child’s temperament will change if they are being groomed. They will go from being that miserable teenager to having a new friend online that makes them smile. They will have a spring in their step and smile when they answer a message. Your child will change all of their passwords and say that their computers, phones and tablets. They will not let anything out of their sight. In the event that you do get into their devices, they will have deleted messages or someone in their phone that they are hiding as a friend.
Your child might get more snappy with you as the predator convinces them that you are the enemy in the family. They won’t trust you and will withdraw even more.
Gifts Arriving For Your Child
Are parcels arriving for your child? Parcels that they have not ordered, or had the cash to buy themselves. Are they wearing a new expensive perfume that you didn’t get for them? Have flowers arrived for them? This is a sign that there is more to their internet browsing than they are saying. Someone is really buying their love and attention, but they won’t tell you who is sending the gifts. They might say that they don’t know. You can tell them to ask for the gifts to stop, but they won’t because they like the attention.
Not Listening To You At All
They won’t listen to you because they have someone else whispering in their ears. Someone else is telling them different things to you and it isn’t for the best. Even though you are looking after your child’s interest, it isn’t fun for them and they will hate you for it.
Skipping School
They might start to skip school to be with this other person. After all that is more fun than doing what they are told. The predator is more adventurous for them, more fun and much more lively. Your child will want to spend as much time with them as possible and skipping school means that you don’t know that they are missing and they have the whole day to be with the person grooming them.
Their Mental Health Suffers
When your child is being groomed and he has got her trust, he will start to manipulate her. He will do this so that he has power over her. He will declare his absolute love and devotion for her one day and then ghost her for a few days. This is enough to worry anyone and make them wonder what they have done. Preditors are very good at making victims think that it is their own fault. They will also struggle with the lies they are telling, it is difficult to keep telling the same lies to someone and not get caught out.
What To Do If You Think Your Child Is Being Groomed
Your gut instinct is always going to be right! If you think that there is something happening in your child’s laptop, then you need to stop it before it is too late. Contact the police and tell them what has happened. NSPCC have some great advice on their website. Share your suspicions with your friends, they might be able to help.
You are doing your best as a parent, and the fact that you spotted that your child is being groomed is good.